Dear Diary Moments
On Gratitude, Confronting Fear, and Toxic Traits
It is said that gratitude is one of the cures to the ills of life. In reality, we would prefer to be around thankful people than those who are grumpy all the time. When you take out time to look inward, you’ll find that irrespective of the situation you are in, there’s still a lot to be thankful about. Gratitude, then, ought to be the running theme in our lives.
For me, the year began with a surgical operation that almost took my life. Before going in, I ensured that I put my house in order and gave my husband instructions on what to do with my possessions. Thankfully, all went well, and even though the days following were rough, here I am writing this post.
I‘ve never been big on birthdays, growing up, and I never thought I would make it past 30 years. I had toiled with the idea of death as a child for no particular reason. Birthdays were times of sadness because I felt the clock was ticking, and there was still so much I had not done. But in a few weeks, I would be turning 34; this time, I am looking forward to it with a heart filled with gratitude for the gift of life.
Another thing I am grateful for is the courage to confront my fear finally. Since I had my college education in Nigeria, I needed to convert my license upon my relocation to the US. After months of doing the groundwork to get the necessary documents, I developed cold feet concerning taking the needed examination. Thankfully a call from a friend helped reset my mind. I gave up the pressures I had placed on myself and finally took the exams. Well, the results are out, and I passed.
Lastly, when we talk about toxic people or toxic relationships, we never consider the possibility of ourselves as the culprits. I discovered that I am quite adept at exhibiting some manipulative traits in certain situations with my spouse. As you can imagine how distressing it must have been to come at such discovery — a feat I credit to therapy and prayers. I am consciously working on this and keeping myself accountable. So if you are in a similar situation, don’t let your issues be an excuse to mistreat people. Talk to someone, go to therapy, and work on yourself to be better not just for yourself, but for those who love you as well.
Whatever thing you have ahead that scares you, I encourage you to permit yourself to go for it today. Confront the fear, and like Nike says, “just do it.”
I hope you take the time to reflect on the points I have raised, and when you do, don’t hesitate to take the necessary actions required.
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