The One with My Anxiety

내 불안에 대한 모든 것| On Living With Your Own Brain: Episode 27 (2022)

As a child, I always had this feeling that everything was going to drop and it was going to be my fault. I was always anxious as a child. Some of my personal signs and symptoms, which include eating disorders, dieting, and difficulties sleeping all happened under age 13. — Mo! (2022)

In this episode, Ayomide interviewed me (again), but from the perspective of my relationship with anxiety.

My birthday is in a few days, and as a die-hard lover of the number nine, I’m excited to be turning 36, a multiple of 9. We explored what about the number appeals to me: it is my spiritual number, the sum of the digits of any multiple of nine is nine, and the number of letters in my maiden surname, Ogunsanya. Nine is an emblem of perfection.

We discussed my relationship with anxiety, germophobia, insomnia, and my tendency to be futuristic instead of enjoying each moment. I have been working and reflecting on these issues for years. For those who do not know, I have suffered from anxiety far back as I can remember. My therapist helped me understand my…